Answers, part one: titsense, relocation, appetite, 420

When are you moving to Seattle?
We're taking a week-long road trip back, which puts us in town on or around June 29th. Sawyer starts his new job July 1.

When someone (or thing) touches my new-temporary boob, what do I feel?
Well, I'm pretty insensate on skin, it starts about 2 or 3 inches from the center and radiates out in every direction. There's a borderline where it feels like scar tissue (halfway asleep) and then, nada. Apparently over time (years sometimes) I will get some back, but likely never right around the scar.

However, when the whole thing is pressed on (belly down positions in yoga, for example) it is very clear that there is a uniform foreign object in there - it presses on my chest. Not the greatest feeling, but, again, apparently this will be much better when I have my silicone.

How am I eating?
If the questioner was doing his best Jewish mom impression, I will gratify him to say that I am eating LOTS, and often. Almost everyone either loses or gains during chemo, and I'm very decidedly in the latter category (I lost a bit after diagnosis and becoming freaky in multiple ways, I am back to where I was at the end of school, which is OK with me). Even during my "bad week", when nothing sits in the stomach particularly happily, I am not deterred. If you *know* you're going to get a stomach ache no matter what, why go hungry? This is all good news, as I most of you know that I am particularly committed to any pastimes involving food. Continuing to think about, plan, shop for, and prepare meals has been a constant, an emotional touch point. Even on my worst days you will see me moaning and dragging through putting together a dinner.

I have made some adjustments to my diet, namely, a very marked decrease in animal products, starting with dairy. I partake of eggs, soy, and meat in moderation (maybe once a week for the former two, once every two weeks for the latter). The juicer and blender are used multiple times a week and fresh produce probably make up 80% of my grocery bill. I would say I am on trend for those in the Michael Pollan camp (and probably going to die of anemia according to you paleo folks) in just eating low on the food chain, mostly plants.

Has marijuana been a part of your treatment, medically prescribed or otherwise? If so, what can you say about its effectiveness? What are your thoughts on using MJ during cancer treatment, in general?

Man! This one is really unexplored territory for me, and not out of any barriers, ideological or otherwise. In fact, hilariously diverse people in my life (some good surprises!) have readily offered supplies, and I even had my good friends' little bag of paraphernalia for several weeks after surgery, but never dipped in. I just never thought to get at it. Sawyer is no help... I guess we're out of practice!

The thing is, I think have been waiting for the other shoe to drop with chemo and finally get really nauseous.

Kick me, will ya, because it just ain't happening. I have one more chance with 6/6 infusions next week, but chances are I just got passed over by the barf gods. As I haven't been sick, reaching for the purple and green sculpy pipe has literally not occurred to me.

I terms of supply chain, I have no doubt I could have gotten it legally through my MDs here if I asked. Seeing the legions of super sick folk up at the cancer hospital, I am glad knowing it is a commonly-supplied medicine for those that are super nauseous or in pain.

In terms of looking to weed for other benefits: to chill me out, lessen anxiety, and/or take me to a higher place, I guess I have slight trepidation about going there - that's not really where I want to be right now. I'm not very anxious (due to other self-care practices), really, and though I have occasionally gotten high over the past couple of decades, it's not something I really equate with relaxation.

At certain times I have loved getting high and making art, journaling, etc. It is a solitary, heady, and "think-y" experience for me, and while it certainly *has* helped me to get to a different place at times, I would say the place I ended up was always in my head.

"In my head" is not a place that has been calling me or feeling healing right now. So. That said, I am super open to that attitude changing in me if circumstances change and would certainly experiment if given the right opportunity. And of course I absolutely support the potency of this medicine for many many folks (and extreme danger of it for others). The bottom line is I am not feeling the pull to this medicine right now.

Long answer to that one, but there were some nuances around my feelings about MJ that I just unraveled a bit. Thanks for the prompt!