As you know (or don't since normalcy has basically rendered the blog inactive) I've felt pretty normal for months.
Something that isn't normal in a good way: I was bummed about a month ago when it seemed clear my hair was coming in straight, but a minor miracle has been happening right around my ears and my neckline.
I got my wish!! CURLS.
I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW EXCITED I AM ABOUT THIS.
It almost makes it worth it to have had chemo.
Right now, the 'do is very Rosemary's Baby and I've been getting lots of compliments on it, which is nice. I think I'll keep it short for a bit.
In other news, I met my surgeon this week - Dr. Gougoutas. His name is pronounced Goo Goo Toss. Not kidding.
He gave me a surgery option that here to fore had not been offered to me: which is that he thinks we should risk just swtiching my expander with an implant - a simple switcheroo with no piece of muscle from my back. Typically, they don't do this for radiated skin since about 40% the time it fails. This happens because radiated skin is damaged and doesn't really have some of the elasticity and self-healing ability of its previous self. However, in my case he thinks that since 1) I have a willing attitude, 2) I heal well and quickly and 3) my radiated area appears to be very intact (caveat emptor: you cannot tell what is going on at a cellular level) it is worth trying. The risk is only that I *might* have to come back for a second surgery if it gets infected or doesn't heal well. And if I get lucky, it's a mere go-home-the-same day surgery - yippee! Apparently 95% of the failures will happen within 2 weeks SO it would be easy to just keep an eye on it in those first weeks and go back in if something went wrong .
The surgeon just thought that planning from the outset to do the 3-night-hospitalization latissimus surgery (which is where they harvest some of my back muscle to help integrate the new implant into the radiated skin) right off the bat seemed a little extreme. Before he came into the room, his resident told me she would *not recommend* skipping the imported muscle step but that her attending was the boss and might think differently. I tried to get eye contact with her knowing that he was suggesting something she thought was a bad idea but I had to remember she is just starting to work in this practice and he's been doing it for years. He thinks I am a good bet to try to get away with a smaller surgery, and I am. He knew my hubby is a UW MD (which is a bit of insurance he won't try anything that isn't widely accepted as a good option) and I think he instinctively understood I was going to be able to roll with whatever, in any case. I checked this against my mom (always my voice of reason when it comes to health stuff) and she was like "of course you should try the easier step first!!".
I am going to go into just believing that it will all be fine and this will work. It's great to imagine this being a much easier surgery and recovery than what I had thought before.
In more sobering news, a couple people close to people I know have been diagnosed with breast cancer in the last couple of weeks. Always a bummer to hear, and yet somehow I also get strength from knowing this is becoming so damn common. It means it will take fewer of us. It will be more like a chronic condition than a death sentence. For many of us, it will be a mere bump in the road.
I look forward to being an advocate for the newly-diagnosed for the rest of my life: a living, breathing, thriving CURLY HAIRED example of what it looks like to go through it, and get the hell on with your life.
you know what chica. I love reading your words, they make me smile and cry. your words remind me to be strong when I miss Beth but to be honest and remind myself and others how special she is to us and how special we are all to each other. Thanks H for being you and your CURLY HAIRED self. thanks for being an advocate to all of us in this crazy universe. :)
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