Boob version 2.2

Last tuesday the 22nd, I was the proud recipient of a Mentor-brand Smooth Round Moderate Plus Profile Gel implant, 325 ccs. They gave me a sticker to put on a card from the manufacturer to "keep in my files" which brings up unpleasant memories of leaking or faulty implants and recalls from a couple decades ago.

Surgery was easy peasy, and though I remember trying valiantly to make note of what to remember about those first 20 or 30 minutes after I woke up out of anesthesia, it is all incredibly hazy now. That stuff makes ya pretty loopy. (That, and the Percoset I took for the first 30 hours after waking up) I do remember thinking this time when I first took a breath of anesthesia "this stuff stinks!" 

I also noticed they don't tell you "we're about to put you out" but suddenly a bunch of people are bustling around you and then someone quickly puts the mask over your mouth and ______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _  ______________ you wake up you are wearing a surgical bra that someone put onto your sack-o-potatoes body. This bra closes in the front and has multiple adjustment points, and I have to imagine it takes at least two nurses to arrange it on a giant floppy human when I think about it.  

The surgery was only about 90 minutes - too short for a catheter, but I also wonder about this process. Is it one nurse to lift and spread legs, one to probably put some sort of guide on the junk and put in the pee hose? I'm sure they have it down to a science, but it's weird to think of it in aggregate. Across  the country,  189,000 surgeries are going on at any given moment, which means LOTS of people are having complete strangers get tubes into their urethras while they are unconscious.

I must remember to ask an OR nurse one about this of these days. I'm sure they are totally over seeing crotches. 

In conclusion, there are lots of reasons it is good we are under total sedation during these procedures. Pain is only one aspect of what we may want to avoid a sentient awareness of.

The 6 million dollar question right now is "did it work"? since there was a little risk associated with taking the 1-to-1 swap surgery I did. See my previous post if you want to know more about that. Everything SEEMS to be healing and looking and feeling pretty good. But more shall be revealed in the coming two weeks. It is a good sign that I have not had significant pain since the first 48 hours.

In fact, by day three after surgery I stopped taking even Tylenol and at day 7 - today - I am only just a bit store and stiff. I am not supposed to be carrying things "heavier than a phone book" but those of you who know my computer Big Bertha know that might have been pushed a bit. And, I have to wear the lovely bra for two weeks which I guess is akin to keeping the jello in the mold for the right amount of time. 

Immediate impressions of 2.2 for all you inquiring minds: soft, jiggly, slightly pendulous. Ladies and gentleman, I believe we are entering reasonable-proxy-of-the-real-thing territory.  It is still a bit swollen, so I'm not sure how that will all play out, and of course there is the hard to ignore black sutures in a 5 cm diagonal slash across the middle, but I am very certainly going to enjoy wearing this boob about 100x more than the expander, which I came to think of as 'the turtle under my skin'.

Also, with a brand name like "Mentor" how can I go wrong? I will always have my mentor with me. It will be the first to enter a room, checking for danger. It will sagely guide me through my career and leadership struggles. It will bear witness to all the victories and failures in my life, facing forward, ever forward.  It will be my constant companion - a souvenir of my past and future, riding shotgun in my chest.